Evening Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's prominent hosts devoted their airtime ridiculing President Donald Trump's newly unveiled visa program, called the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear pay-for-access scheme for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical holiday tune about the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... spoils each thing he handles."

The focus was the new initiative that allows international individuals to acquire U.S. residence for the price of a million dollars, with a "top-tier" version for five million. An official page promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One thought here to rich foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the card is also designed to "extract cash" from companies wanting to hire skilled workers, with hefty payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The most thorough background check the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow wealthy foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Economic Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging approval numbers amid financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to address cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of food items, where he reacted strangely to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking conservative media arguments of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.